Well, as a non-tech person, login is a bit difficult. I have almost everything in place now, will put up my solution when it is done. I have been moving more slowly, I started off with such vim and vigor...
One key is, because its to work with discuss members rather than modx users, that the member group be correct. So, what I have for my register snippet is:
[[!Register? &submitVar=`registerbtn`
&activationResourceId=`9`
&activationEmailSubject=`Thanks for Registering!`
&submittedResourceId=`13`
&usergroups=`Forum Members:Member`
&validate=`nospam:blank, username:required:minLength=^5^, password:required:minLength=^5^, password_confirm:password_confirm=^password^, fullname:required, email:required:email`
&placeholderPrefix=`reg.`
&activationttl=`1440` ]]
Where the &usergroups=`Forum Members:Member` is the key difference from a typical registration setup. This puts the user into the forum members list, which can be seen in the manager through components-discuss-users
Other than that, the "forgot login" link is set to a particular page with code like [[~533]], so just change it to the proper resource. "Create account", if memory serves, is connected to a resource in the system settings for discuss. All of this is in the wrapper.tpl, where most of the action takes place.
I will try to put up a more complete solution, but right now I have to make sure everything works consistently.