Ok I think I got it

Wayfinder docs were a good start.
I changed me AlexHeader to:
[[Wayfinder?&startId=`0’&limit=`2`
&hideSubMenus=`1`&level=`1`&outerClass=`nav`&innerClass=`subnav`]]
I hoped that
&hideSubMenus=`1` will do what I want, but I had to limit
&level=`1` to show only top bar.
so now I have only "main" bar in the header without the submenus- i like it that way better.
and I left the code on my parent folder as
[[Wayfinder? &startId=`38`&limit=`1`]] which generates the links in a nice way, as a list.
but what if I wanted to edit the list to have two columns instead of one?
am I asking too much from Wayfinder?