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☆ A M B ☆
- 3,112 Posts
This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
Customer: Hi, this is Celine . I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute. I hadn’t inserted it yet... it’s still on my desk... sorry...
Tech support: Click on the ’my computer’ icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
Tech support: Good day.. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello.... I can’t print.
Tech support: Would you click on ’start’ for me and....
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates.
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ’Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it.
Customer: I have problems printing in red..
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah.......................thank you.
Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support : Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: ! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah… that one does work.
Tech support: Your password is the small letter ’a’ as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
Customer: I can’t get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first email.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ’a’ in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: ’No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.’
And last but not least...
Tech support: ’Okay Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter ’P’ to bring up the Program Manager.’
Customer: I don’t have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: ’P’.....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
Rico
Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
Thomas A. Edison
MODx is great, but knowing how to use it well makes it perfect!
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☆ A M B ☆
- 2,213 Posts
hehe, very nice collection, but I think you are missing some other classics like....
Customer: I love this new computer it comes with a cup holder!
____
Customer: My computer says it preformed an illegal error... What do I do!?
Tech on Phone: You just click the Close button.
Tech in Background: You RUN before the police catch up to you! (and hysteric laughing)
(The tech on phone managed not to laugh until hanging up...)
____
Customer: I’ve had this computer for three days... It worked great the first day after you set it up, but now it’s not working!
Tech: Is the computer turned on?
Customer: No, I turned it off after you set it up and it hasn’t worked after that point.
____
Customer: I can’t send faxes with my computer
Tech: Tell me what your doing.
Customer: I hold the sheet up to the screen and tell it to fax...
____
Customer: My computer keeps telling me to empty the trash, but I already took it out what gives!
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Reserved for more stories as I recall them...
____
And to think computers are here to make our life easier...
AMDbuilder
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☆ A M B ☆
- 3,112 Posts
Haha... keep it rolling...
* Student: "I can’t find the place to type in the URT."
* Teacher: "The what?"
* Student: "You know the URT -- the thing that starts with ’www’?"
* Teacher: "Oh, URL."
* Student: "Whatever. Where do I type it?"
* Teacher: "On the blank line at the top."
* Student: "Where?"
* Teacher: "At the top!"
* Student: "I see no line."
* Teacher: "Is Netscape open?"
* Student: "Does it have to be?"
Rico
Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
Thomas A. Edison
MODx is great, but knowing how to use it well makes it perfect!
www.virtudraft.com
Security, security, security! |
Indonesian MODx Forum |
MODx Revo's cheatsheets |
MODx Evo's cheatsheets
Author of
Easy 2 Gallery 1.4.x,
PHPTidy,
spieFeed,
FileDownload R,
Upload To Users CMP,
Inherit Template TV,
LexRating,
ExerPlan,
Lingua,
virtuNewsletter,
Grid Class Key,
SmartTag,
prevNext
Maintainter/contributor of
Babel
Because it's hard to follow all topics on the forum, PING ME ON TWITTER
@_goldsky if you need my help.
User: My computer’s not working at all.
Tech: What kind it is?
User: It’s hard to read the logo, it got really dark in here when the power went out.
***********************
(and one from the dark ages)
User: The computer can’t read my floppy disk.
Tech: Is the disk damaged?
User: No, I always keep it on the file cabinet next to my desk so it won’t get hurt.
Tech: On top of the file cabinet?
User: No, I attach it to the front with a big refrigerator magnet.
What about this one..
* Tech Support: "Ok, ma’am, I need you to do a ctrl-alt-del."
* Customer: "How do I do that?"
* Tech Support: "Push and hold ’ctrl’ and ’alt’ at the same time, and then hit ’delete’."
* Customer: "Where are those?"
* Tech Support: (explains the location of the keys)
* Customer: "Nothing happened."
* Tech Support: "Try again."
* Customer: "Still nothing."
A minute or two later....
* Customer: "Should I turn my computer? Would it help?
* Tech Support: "Yeah, it might."
hahahahah this is awesome, totally made my day! thanks everyone!
MrsCasanova
Budget Planning www . nomoredebts . org
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
While I run mac the mac crowd is a funny bunch.
